I think we’re being royally had, here:

A teenager volunteering at a Seattle elementary school was apparently told to use the politically correct name “spring spheres” when she tried giving kids plastic Easter eggs filled with candy.

[A] Seattle school board spokesperson told the Star it has not been able to confirm whether the incident actually happened.

“They said I could do it as long as I called the treats ‘spring spheres.’ I couldn’t call them Easter eggs,” a 16-year-old named Jessica told a Seattle radio station.

She declined to give her last name and the name of the school where the incident happened on the air.

If this really took place, though, it’s upsetting news. This is supposed to be a school, but the kids are being grievously misinformed.

An egg is not a sphere.

It’s half a prolate and half a roughly spherical (potentially even minorly oblate) ellipsoid joined at the equator, sharing a principal axis of rotational symmetry. [source]

Admittedly, that’s a bit of a mouthful for kids and teachers, but still. My advice? Just find and eat the darned things.

[H/t DAMMIT JANET!]