Daniel Davies confesses his tendency towards “Canadatheism”.
I’m sure that by now I will have touched a bunch of raw nerves. Perhaps I should never have brought the subject up - Canadatheism always seems to lead to horrible flamewars and I really do sincerely apologise for offending your beliefs. But I promise - I’ve done my best to look at the strongest arguments possible for Canadaism. I’ve drunk those bottles of Budweiser that they make with the labels saying “Molson Lager”. I’ve talked to Canadianists. I’ve even been to see a pretend game of “hockey on ice” in the ice rink in “Toronto”, an American town to which I have been more than half a dozen times in different seasons. I’ve been to “Montreal” and listened to French people pretending to have an American accent. Right now as I type, I can see at the top of the foreign coins jar on my desk is an American 25 cent piece with the Queen’s head stamped on to it and the word “Canada”. I’m not arguing out of ignorance here - I’m intimately familiar with the arguments for Canada. I respectfully suggest, indeed, that I am more familiar with the arguments for the existence of Canada than most Canadians are familiar with the arguments against. I’m just not convinced.
The question I put to you is: does Canada believe in the existence of Daniel Davies?
Further evidence for the existence of Canada can be inferred from the nefarious doings of the Canadian Curling Association.