By coincidence, just as my stepson and I are embarking upon a series of unusual hamburger taste sensations—llama, alligator and python, to name but a few—some folks in Maastricht are growing beefburgers in the lab. The tasting of the first-ever such burger just took place in London: the 5-oz. patty cost an estimated €250,000. It was apparently a little short on flavour, which could be remedied, apparently, by growing some fat cells in the mix. Those who choose medium-ground beef for their chili will understand.
Besides the initial harvesting of stem cells, which could be a deal-breaker for some, no animals were involved in the production of this burger. PETA is reportedly all for this breakthrough, although we have not yet heard from Vegan Central.
Could lab-meat eventually eliminate the need for radical vegetarianism, by essentially doing away with the killing of animals for food? Why, after all, stop at beef? The same process could produce tonnes of crocodile, camel, yak and alpaca meat without a hair being harmed on a single animal’s head. No more mechanized mass-cruelty: a chicken factory farm would consist of a mega-lab and two vast refrigerated warehouses, labelled “white” and “dark.”
And then, dare I mention it, there is the transgressive desire expressed in this uncomfortable parody, not to mention this classic. Troublesome moral questions, however, no longer arise in the brave new gustatory world. Just follow the bon chic, bon genre to the new fancy niche resto, and dig in. Might I suggest a well-chilled Chateau Mersault?