May I once again announce the death of satire? But this time, I believe a stake may have finally been driven through its heart.

Imagine Scrooge throwing open his window as in the tale, but this time calling to passers-by for a little Christian charity. “My man Crachit is woefully underpaid, and he has a disabled son! Please, please, for the love of God, throw some spare change into the hat outside my door! Christmas is coming!”

And so it was that Wal-Mart in Canton, Ohio, ran a food drive for its own underpaid employees. And then there’s McDonald’s. How to help out its miserably remunerated wage slaves? Well, first do a little budget for them, on how to live without heat. And, chock-full of the old seasonal spirit, the McDucks have just the ticket for employees in need of a little ready cash in the New Year—sell your Christmas presents!

Truly the season has arrived, in all its magic splendour. I do believe I hear sleigh-bells.

[H/t Rabble]