Dr.Dawg

What's the matter with Toronto?

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Ford CN Tower.jpg

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. I’m rather fond of Toronto, actually. World-class restaurants, entertainment for all tastes, great people-watching, local newspapers that masquerade as national, and many happy memories of labour conventions and old flames.

But.

First, Ford.

Freddie Dukes.jpg

It’s not that Torontonians have a very stupid, boorish, venal, crack-smoking mayor who won’t quit. Politics throws up weird specimens on occasion, more so with low turnouts and silly populist rhetoric about gravy trains (and gravier subways). No, it’s that people not only voted for this brutish buffoon—who, let’s be honest, has always been more or less a known quantity—but doubled down when the crack video surfaced at last. Good grief, his polling numbers rose.

Edging carefully away from the Blob, we have some Liberal shenanigans that, at least in my fevered mind, seem somehow connected to the vast pool of Toronto weird.

trudeau unplugged.jpg

Toronto Libs seem to have gone full-tilt retro, all the way back to the 1950s. Here’s an allegedly unplugged Justin Trudeau, loosening his tie, undoing his top shirt button, and hanging out with the cool chicks at a Ladies Night fundraiser. He served them suitably girly fare: wine and candy. History does not record whether the latter screamed when he made his appearance, or whether, at suitably timed intervals, he tossed sweaty scarves in their direction. (I suspect no to the latter: Trudeau doesn’t sweat.) In any case, it seems we’ll never learn, alas, what the ladies’ favourite virtue was.

Then it’s Chrystia Freeland, who came back from the US, like Iggy, to run in Toronto for the Liberals. Turns out that she has some interesting views of feminism. To her, Sarah Palin is a “true feminist role model,” while Hillary Clinton only got to where she is because of hubby.

If you’re a woman, not a “lady,” Freeland didn’t come back for you.

But you should have seen the Toronto Liberals on Twitter last night. Such a dazzling yet desperate display of acrobatics is rarely observed, even for members of a party who used to cling grimly to power with similar circus tricks. Why, that quotation was out of its historical context! It’s unimportant! Nobody cares! (Freeland has not yet offered a “clarification” for her water-treading supporters to cling to. Stay tuned for that.)

I’m actually planning a visit to Toronto one of these days. I have friends there who are reassuringly normal. As mentioned, I like the atmosphere. And The Real Jerk has reopened. But I just may steer clear of the drinking water.

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This page contains a single entry by Dr.Dawg published on November 10, 2013 11:26 AM.

I am a bad environmentalist, part 1.5 was the previous entry in this blog.

Trouble with Trudeau is the next entry in this blog.

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