Balbulican

Modest Budget Proposals

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saturn.jpgFinance Minister Flaherty’s off-the-cuff comment to reporters that they were going to find yesterday’s budget “boring” reflects the Minister’s disappointment at Prime Minister Harper’s reluctance to implement some innovative expenditure control measures, according to sources within the Conservative Party.

Here’s a quick summary of additional fiscal measures discussed by the Conservative caucus but NOT included in yesterday’s budget.

  • The decision to double the cost of health benefits for retired civil servants (including those forced into retirement by the government, but promised access to ongoing coverage) replaced Minister Tony Clement’s original plan for a National Senior Service, through which retirees would be granted the privilege of retaining their benefits in return for “a fair contribution to our nation’s economy” through a period of “healthy and vigorous unpaid labour in our burgeoning energy sector”.

  • A requirement that all federal civil servants provide one kidney to the lucrative black market for organ transplants, and donate 80% of the proceeds to the Campaign to Re-Elect the PM (CREEP). Retired civil servants would be offered the option of volunteering a family member’s kidney. An earlier proposal suggested that hearts would fetch a better price, particularly in the booming UAE and Singapore markets; however, Minister of State for Democratic Reform Pierre Polievre pointed out that removal of a kidney would leave donors alive, allowing for a potential mandaTory cornea contribution down the road.

  • A measure to reduce the pensions paid to Canadian veterans who had undergone amputations as a result of combat service. The cut would be prorated based on the volume of body mass lost. “Original pension calculations were based on payments to whole persons,” explained Minister of Defense Rob Nicholson. “It’s simply not fair that Canadians are being forced to pay benefits for limbs that aren’t working for Canada anymore.”

The proposed measures apparently had wide support in caucus; however, as Prime Minister Harper put it, “we need to save SOMETHING for next year.”

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This page contains a single entry by Balbulican published on February 12, 2014 8:49 AM.

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