Dr. Dawg

Sword deal with Saudi Arabia will not be cancelled

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Saudi Arabia.jpg

(Ottawa, January 7) DawgNews has learned that the new Liberal government will not tear up a multi-year deal to provide Saudi Arabia with a regular supply of high-quality swords. Floyd Merriwether, a spokesman for Foreign Affairs minister St├ęphane Dion, confirmed that the arrangement will go ahead.

“We deplore the recent mass executions, and those still to come,” he said. “But a deal’s a deal.”

“Our steel industry needs new markets,” he continued. “And the heavy demand by Saudi Arabia for razor-sharp blades will create hundreds of jobs.”

The deal continues to be opposed by Amnesty International and Project Ploughshares. The organizations point out that many of those recently beheaded were domestic maids, accused sorcerers and rival clerics.

“Obviously, the executions have caused the government some concern,” said Merriwether. “But swords don’t kill people. People kill people. Besides, we have no evidence that Canadian-made swords will be used for execution purposes.”

During the recent election campaign, Trudeau pledged to honour the contract, referring to the implements as “lengthy, sharpened butter knives.” But in the past few days he has distanced himself, claiming that it was a private deal over which he had no control.

The Globe & Mail took Trudeau to task today for this apparent bashfulness. “He has the final say on this, and he has made a decision to proceed. The Prime Minister has nothing to apologize for. We’ve always sold sharp objects to bloodthirsty monsters. Besides, everybody else does it.” *

* This part isn’t satire.

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This page contains a single entry by Dr. Dawg published on January 7, 2016 2:45 PM.

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