The Revolution May Not Be Televised, But It WILL Be Smoky

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life of brian1.jpgJust reviewed a list of emergency supplies requested by the Oregon Popular People’s Libertarian Revolutionary Freedom Front, supplementing their earlier request for “snacks”.

Looks like the lads are settling in. Their “Updated Call to Action” now includes an urgent request that they be sent:

  • Cigarettes: Marlboro Red 100’s, Marlboro Lights 100’s, Pall Mall Menthol 100’s, and Chew Copenhagen. (Hmm. It’s certainly a manly list, but guys - think of the Oregon Popular People’s Libertarian Revolutionary Freedom Front Cadets. Seriously, are you being good models for the Revolutionary Youth?)
  • Tampons and sanitary pads (somewhat less manly, and perhaps a bit indicative of spectacularly poor planning? “What, AGAIN? Didn’t I pick those up for you LAST month already?”)
  • Gaming supplies (okay, did someone tell them there’s a new Star Wars Monopoly set out there?)
  • Plastic Silverware (Hmm. Didn’t know silverware came in plastic. Will silver plasticware do just as well?)
  • Ice Scrappers. (Either they’ve got unusually feisty ice out there in Oregon, or we need to add a dictionary to their list of needs).
  • Throw Rugs (because even revolutionaries need something to tie the decor together, you know?)

But most disturbing is their demand for “French Vanilla Coffee Creamer”.

FRENCH Vanilla? Damn. And I thought these guys were supposed to be PATRIOTS.

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This page contains a single entry by Balbulican published on January 10, 2016 9:37 AM.

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