Butterball® is in trouble with the nutbar Right.

The following, I swear, was not lifted from The Onion:

[T]his Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

Says a commenter over at Arnie Shaidle’s:

The thought of me eating any of this type of disgusting voodoo crap makes me want to throw up.

This type of slaughter and religious praying must not be allowed to be part of any slaughter house.

Ban these sadistic torturers and their obscene “religious” rituals!

Whoops.

From the folks who brought you this nonsense a year ago.

The war on Thanksgiving is being vigorously contested, but the war on satire is over. It’s been inhumanely killed with a dull and rusty blade—and the wingnuts are declaring victory.

[H/t to Marie Ève, b/c]

UPDATE: (November 30) The perfect ending to an absurdist fable—Butterball® turkeys sold in America aren’t halal.