Dr. Dawg

Conservatism: not a politics

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…a diagnosis.

OK, DSM-5, if you insist that grieving, child temper tantrums and transexuality are treatable pathologies, let’s add a few more:

Obsessive entitlement disorder: Criteria: displays an obsessive appetite for material wealth and socio-political position. Pathological liar. Expresses unusual confusion, including his sources of income and the location of his own house.

Aggressive gestural disorder: Criteria: Habitually points, gesticulates and yells, even in normal conversational settings. Fixated on one or more other countries which he identifies with his mother-imago, who did no wrong.

Regressive “brat” syndrome: Criteria: Shallow affect. Unreasoning partisanship. A tendency to angry outbursts at least once a week for more than three months. Dislike of unions indicates a profound fear of intimacy. A puer aeternus, likely to resist maturation treatment.

Sado-political pathology: Criteria: Unable to restrain public enthusiasm for torture and surveillance. Enjoys petty acts of cruelty, such as depriving prison inmates of pizza they paid for themselves. Urge to control and dominate extends to teenage babysitters.

Environmental inversion disorder: Criteria: actively hates the natural environment. Fixated at the anal level, the patient favours messy oil sands pollution and pipelines, fears environment defenders as “dangerous radicals.” (See: Paranoia).

Racial reaction formation: Criteria: cultivates racially diverse contacts, but to a superficial degree. Expresses strong antagonism to numerous racial groups, including Roma and non-white Muslims.

Castration/mutilation syndrome: Criteria: An abnormal fascination with cuts, even of vital parts of the body, to “get the economy back on track.”

Absolute monarch complex: Criteria: An obsessive sense that the natural order was self-created, and requires constant monitoring. Micro-manager and “control freak.” Delusion that “l’├ętat, c’est moi.”

The prognosis for these pathologies, while not promising, improves somewhat when these individuals are removed from positions of power and influence. The latter, in fact, is considered an imperative first step in the patient’s recovery.

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This page contains a single entry by Dr. Dawg published on May 18, 2013 9:59 PM.

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