Dr. Dawg

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(Ottawa, December 17) DawgNews has learned that Thomas Mulcair will be joining the Liberal caucus in the House of Commons—and bringing most of his MPs with him.

Wildrose showed us the way,” said NDP spokesperson Ann McWrath. “We’ve been in the political wilderness for more than fifty years. Not any more.”

Citing the merger of the Progressive Conservative and Canadian Alliance parties in 2003, McWrath went on to say that “common values and common goals, whatever they happen to be, should unify and not divide. Besides,” she continued, “we can shed a few more of those Paul Manly types, get Keystone built, that kind of thing. We were just in the way, now it’s Justin, The Way,” she quipped.

Thomas Mulcair said he was not expecting anything in return for leading this unprecedented political migration. “It’s the right thing to do, and that’s all there is to it,” he said, citing Bob Rae’s move to the Liberals in 2006. “Like Bob, I’ve really been Liberal all along.”

A Liberal-NDP merger convention will be held in the Spring, and insiders expect a substantial bounce in the polls in time for the federal election. Talks are reportedly already under way to find a name for the new party. “‘Liberal Party of Canada’ is the leading contender,” said a highly-placed source. “But it’s not a deal-breaker. ‘The New Liberal Party’ is a close second.”

Organized labour, traditionally a strong supporter of the NDP, is split on the move. “We’re now considering our options,” said an ashen-faced representative of the CLC, who asked not to be identified. “I’ll say this, though: it would be great if just once we could merge with ourselves.”

Deputy Leader Libby Davies’ recent announcement that she will not be running in the 2015 federal election reportedly cleared the way for merger talks. “United under the dynamic Justin Trudeau, we can finally rid this country of the Conservatives,” said Mulcair. “At a stroke we have made the debate over strategic voting moot.” Asked what policies the new party would be likely to adopt, Mulcair replied, “Look, we’ve shed our ideological straitjacket at last. Pretty much anything goes.”

[Illustration: Huffington Post]

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