After years of research, a theoretical physicist figures out how to send a five-word message back forty years through time to his younger self. Only one message, and only five words.

After careful consideration, he composes the message: “Sell Everything, Buy Apple Shares.” He hits “send” and drives home, heart racing, expecting to find a huge mansion where his modest bungalow once stood.

Instead, he discovers that his garage is stuffed to the rafters with old Beatles albums.

I WAS thinking Bryan Cranston, but he’s not returning my calls.