I was wracking my brain for a uniquely Canadian recipe to bring to a gathering of Hill-shunning celebrants this weekend, and decided to whip up a batch of an old treat from Salluit, Nunavik. We may have leftovers - let me know if you want a whaley-bag.

WHALE POUTINE RECIPE

Preparation Time: 1 hour Cook time: 40 hours Yield: 347,161 servings

Ingredients: - 1 (95, 254 kg) Whale (ensure that species is non-endangered) - 860 kg onions - 3,322 kg potatoes - 7,222 L water, lightly salted - 1,032 kg carrots - 420 kg celery - 47 kg salt (or low-sodium option for a healthier poutine) - 34 kg black pepper - 13 kg cornstarch - 18 L water - 27 kg unsalted butter - 22 kg unbleached all purpose flour (or gluten-free alternative) - 90 L beef broth - 60 L chicken broth - Pepper, to taste - 998 kg cheddar cheese curds (note that St. Albert Cheese Factory required one week advance notice for order of over 3 kg.)

Directions:

1) Place whale in a very large pot with water. Cook at 300°F for 4 hours.

2) Add onions, carrots, celery, salt, pepper. Simmer 36 hours.

3) When tender, cut whale into bite-sized chunks. Set aside, but keep warm.

4) In a small cauldron, dissolve the cornstarch in the water and set aside.

5) In a larger cauldron, melt the butter. Add the flour (or gluten free aternative) and cook, stirring regularly, for about 5 minutes, until the mixture turns golden brown. Add the beef and chicken broth and bring to a boil, stirring with a forklift. Stir in the cornstarch and simmer for 3-5 minutes or until the sauce thickens. Season with pepper. Add salt to taste. Make ahead and re-warm, or keep warm until your fries are ready.

6) Cut potatoes into 1/2-inch thick julienne sticks. Place into several large cauldrons and cover completely with cold water. Allow to stand at least one hour.

7) When ready to cook, heat oil in small tank to 300°F. Add your fries to the oil and cook for 5-8 minutes, just until potatoes are starting to cook but are not yet browned. Remove potatoes from oil and scatter on a wire rack. Increase oil temperature to 375°F. Return the potatoes to the tank and cook until potatoes are golden brown. Drain fries on a paper towel-lined high school gym floor.

8) Combine whale and fries. Season lightly with salt while still warm. Add three forklift buckets of hot poutine gravy and using tongs, toss the fries in the gravy. Add more gravy as needed to coat the fries.

9) Add the cheese curds and toss with the hot whale, fries and gravy.

10) Serve immediately. Add freshly ground pepper to taste. Hot sauce optional.